||[Apr. 8th, 2010|03:50 pm]
|||||My heart hurts...||]|
Today my family and I are regrettably and with heavy hearts going to have to put my best friend down. I am planning on going into the room with her and being there while she takes her lasts breaths. I really don't know what kind of condition I'll be in once it's over with. I'm afraid I might not be able to walk out of there. It's just hard because she still has the energy and spunk she's always had. It's just her damn legs aren't able to carry her anymore.
She looks at me now with sad eyes because she wants to run around and play, but realizes she can't. We've got rugs all over the house so she can "walk" and not have her legs fall out from under her. She's an amazing dog though and realizes her new found shortcomings. She looks to us for help and stability and of course we do what we can. We tried taking her to a vet that did acupuncture and chiropractic care. Nothing worked. We did several treatments and changed up her diet, but unfortunately the disease has gotten the better of her.
I did some research on it and it says they only live about 6 months from onset of it. It's called Degenerative Myelopathy and is mostly found in German Shepherds. We had never heard of it before and really had no idea what it really all meant. Our vet didn't really say much about it, of course when we went to him she was just sort of dragging her back leg. The 2nd vet/acupuncturist told us it was neuro related. Shortly after that she really started to go down hill.
When I go with her tonight, I'll have to remind myself that this has to be for the best and she will once again run and play to her hearts desire once she reaches the other side. It just breaks my heart to think about holding her and looking into her eyes and me knowing what's about to happen and her totally giving all her trust to me, only to have her "killed". Again, I don't know if I'm going to be able to walk out of there. I'm really scared. I just keep praying that God will help my family and I get through this....